As I have said before, I love my mum. With March having Mother's day and her birthday in it, it makes sense to appreciate the fabulous craziness of her. And in true fashion this is the month she expects the most presents. Spa days, retreats, meals out she wants them all and rightly so. She is the woman who gave birth to me and my inspiration. A strong black woman who does all she can to support her family and give us all the love and care we need, as well as the best laughs ever.
This year mum has decided she wants to go away to catch some international vibes for her birthday. I'm like "mum I'm not made of money (yet) and its a bit last minute for you to be deciding to go away".
"Maybe I should take a trip to Italy again" she says.
"At least this time it will be to celebrate me and nothing sad"
That's true, I thought. The last trip to Italy was an emotionally charged one....delays, missed flights, long road trips and the funeral. I never really got to enjoy the beauty of Italy and promised myself that we would go back and do it properly. Even so because of my amazing mum, the flight back home was the ultimate highlight of trip and made this trip so worthwhile.
After spending ages playing around in duty-free with the perfume samples, it was finally time for us to board the plane. Two hours later I might add. Easy Jet have a special place of rage reserved for them within my soul but that is for another time.
So we begin the slow process of boarding. Arriving at our seats we get comfortable still playing with our samples, then all of a sudden it happens. Mum's moment begins...
Mum: What is that smell?
Me: *sniff sniff*
I am surround by perfume samples so it doesn't hit me at first then...
Me: OMG...Chai!!!!!
Mum: Chineke mei...its that girl in front of us!! Why is she smelling of death? Let her smell not kill me oooohhhh. Not on this plane!!!
Me: *rotfl in tears*
Mum: Chai!! Can someone open the window? I can't breathe
Me: mum sssshhhh ur talking really loud *lmao*
Mum: So?! I should be silent at an attempt on my life?!? I need to look that foul smelling girl in her eye and ask why. Who is her mother? Was she not raised to wash?
*eyes closed mum starts praying*
Mum: Holy ghost fire, I rebuke that devil from the girl's armpit that has been sent to attack me in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen. Say amen then!!
Me: Amen
Maybe I should take her on holiday. I wonder what would happen this time...
Happy Birthday Month mumzy and Happy Mother's day to all the crazy mums out there.
Until next time....
Stay MsChi-Vious
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